Added after the rest was written: I know it is long, but I think it may be worth a read. The thing I wory about with long posts like this is it keeps people away because of its size. I hope you take the time to read it and I hope it is worth the time.
A few things are on my mind. 1. the last thing I reblogged “Be the person you needed when you were younger. 2. Lonelyness as a result of Naruto and 3. Motivations. I listed them so I would remeber as i write thins.
This may be one of those posts where I do not have a point or a realization, but I have things to think about. I will not be talking about them in the order I listed theme.
So first, motivation. I am trying to fiure out why i am doing things or why I am not. I am mostly figuring out why I have a desire to do certain things, in this case I have plans for doing something tomorrow for someone that I do not think I have eveer done before. That made it sound bad, but all I am doing is I plan on checking on someone, but the thing is I am not completely sure why I want to check on them but I have never really done thins for anyone else. I will keep thinking about it. If I can get myeself to I plan on meditating all night. When done right it can be a sutible substitute for sleep, which is what I am hoping for.
This brings us to our next topic. Naruto deals heavily with loneliness and standing out. To me it seems to ultimatly be the main topic. Within my life I think friends and other people are a major thing. I love being alone, but anyone who reads my blog can tell how important friends are to me. I love the way Naruto adresses it and shows how it only takes one person to make a huge difference in someones life.
The third topic does not seem to have a clear transition for me. I have been trying to think about this for a while now, since I reblogged it infact. What I have been having trouble thinking of has been what type of person I needed when I was younger. For some people I am sure it has been very clear. To me not so much because I did have a fairly good childhood. One thing that really helped was when there were a lot of family troubles my parents did their best to keep me unaware. I could not be completely oblivious to some of the things, but hearing about them now I am very glad I did not know as a child what my parents and one of my sisters were all going through. Here is a point for me to think about. If I had been aware of all of that what kind of person would I have wanted.
Havig thought about it for a moment I realize that is already the person I want to be, at least for the ones I care about. Actually, when I think about it that is how I want to be for everyone. I already feel like I try to be that person, which is why I like who I am. There will always be room for improvement.
One thing I have realized, at least in the time i have done this blog, is there is always room for personal growth. When you no longer think you need to improve yourself then you know something is wrong. Noone is perfect, but the best thing is to push yourself to be as close to perfect as possible.
My painting teacher said something great today. Shoot for the stars. At worst you will get to the clouds. If you shoot for the clouds you will not even get off the ground. The point is we can almost never reach exactly what we want, so aim as high as possible to get as close as possible.
This was one of the blogs that I am really happy I wrote because I just wrote. I did not have to think too much. It felt the way I think writing these posts is suppose to feel.