Living the Fourth every day

Day 798

Fri, 24 May 2013 03:25:11 -0400

I did pretty much nothing all day. I should have done stuff, but I did not. I hve gotten lazy, but on the other hand when I am doing something I tend to be doing a lot of somethings, so like I got really dehydrated yesterday from all the yard work I did for hours. I have nothing to say.

Day 797

Thu, 23 May 2013 03:14:51 -0400

I dont know what to talk about today. I am dehydrated as a result of a bunch of yardwork. I got over being angry from yesterday. It just takes some time to calm down. I knew I would eventually. Unfortunately. despite the mindless work I was doing I failed to reflect. That is yet again something I need to work on.

Day 796

Wed, 22 May 2013 02:55:03 -0400

I almost forgot to do this. My dad made me angry today because last night my parents and I discussed something I knew I would have to help with that I dislike, and we said it would be in 2 weeks. Ok, I hate it, but at least I have 2 weeks notice. Today my dad said that we need to do it tomorrow because he made a mistake. I am trying to keep this brief, but it made me angry, and I rushed to fix something and it ended up breaking more. I hate getting no notification for things.

Day 795

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:19:41 -0400

I cant really think of anything for today. Whenever I see a disaster like the tornadoes today I think about things like how I use to want to be a fireman. Even though that is not my choice now I still want to be available to help save people should something happen around me. What I mean is I want to , at some point soon, get CPR training. I also want to be available as a volunteer in the future if there is a local emergency. I think when I have a place that I will live I will contact the local ire department and ask if there is somewhere I can sign up to be called if there is extra assistance needed for something, like rescuing people. What I was thinking today is if something like the tornadoes happened here I would hope I had access to my tools so that I could help take apart things and possibly get to people.

Something I think about when there is a disaster is that I have a desire to help others. Thats something I like about myself.

Day 794

Mon, 20 May 2013 02:11:50 -0400

I am very tired. Last night I went to sleep at 6:30 this morning. I woke up just before noon, so I got almost no sleep .I was busy cleaning basically.

I will talk briefly today about how much I love my dog. Animals are amazing. I love animals more than humans much of the time. It sucks that my dog has so many health problems because I hat to see him in pain. Animals are wonderful. I feel so close and connected to my dog much of the time. I just love dogs so much. Maybe because they are there for you and will listen and try to make you feel better. I dont know, but I know I have a wonderful dog.

Day 793

Sun, 19 May 2013 02:31:41 -0400

I am tired, but I am also busy cleaning, so no real post for today. I did not really reflect anyway.

Day 792

Sat, 18 May 2013 03:13:18 -0400

I just finished watching Inuyasha:Final Act for the third time, but that was the first time I saw it in English, rather than just with English subs. I did some other stuff today, like run with my sister and her boyfriend then go to my other sisters birthday party, but my point for today is from Inuyasha and really any media.

I have mentioned before that spoilers do not bother me. The reason, I figure, goes back to the old saying that its not the destination its the journey. To me a lot of media has somewhat obvious endings. In Inuyasha you do not actually expect Naraku to win, no matter how close everyone gets to death. It is rare that a story will actually carry out the evil winning. What I enjoy so much about Inuasha is seeing them overcoming the struggle. Their evolution in character is so much more important than the end of the story because if it were not for the character development and for the struggles then the end would be pointless. The story would have little substance and be ultimately meaningless. I think thats why I dont mind spoilers. As long as I see how they overcome their struggles to get to the end, that is what is important to me.

Day 791

Fri, 17 May 2013 01:27:29 -0400

I just finished rewatching Inuyasha and I am about to rewatch Inuyasha: Final Act, but for the first time in English. I have only seen it in Japanese with English subs.

Somehow I dont really have a point of reflection for today. I am too distracted with Inuyasha. Distractions occure quite frequently, which is part of the problem I encounter with trying to do this blog the way I think is correct.

So good night.

Day 790

Thu, 16 May 2013 01:04:27 -0400

I was wondering today how a young child perceives someones death. How do you tell them someone they know has died or is dying. I say this because someone my niece knows (but I dont) is not going to live much longer. How will she perceive that he has died? How will they tell her about his death? Apparently she sees him every week, so I am sure she will notice if she stops seeing him. I feel sorry and sad for both her and the person who is so close to death. I hope he dies without much pain if he has any. I hope he doesn’t have any, but since they realize how close he is, it would seem that he is in some pain.

On Dora the Explorer...

Wed, 15 May 2013 13:12:25 -0400

just now they got a Chinese kid on to help them deal with a dragon. Not quite racism, but kind of funny.

Day 789

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:02:06 -0400

I had something to day today, but as is often the case I forgot due to other things coming up. I am babysitting again tomorrow.

I will agree that the idea that my loneliness is due to a biological clock basically is defiantly a possibility. I kind of thought that might be the case, but I am not sure. I might check my posts to see if there is a pattern of this.

I am still watching a lot of Inuyasha, but I spent most of today with one of my friends. We played Frisbee and some video games. It was a fun day. I was also reminded that part of what I think my job is as a friend is to offer someone for people to talk to. My job is to take care of my friends.

I am trying to figure out something, what is it that sets off my loneliness or longing for someone?...

Tue, 14 May 2013 12:01:51 -0400

I am trying to figure out something, what is it that sets off my loneliness or longing for someone? I am not sure. I have not seen any patterns for that, but I again have some feeling that I should be with someone. I desire being with my love, whoever my future wife may be.

Day 788

Tue, 14 May 2013 01:49:57 -0400

I have been watching A LOT of Inuyasha. Like today, I am pretty sure I went through at least 15 episodes so far. Anyway, the last one I watched was a pretty good one, at least as far as getting a message goes. Kagome is basically being attacked in a way to corrupt her and she makes a great statement, something we should all learn from. jealousy and anger are normal, human emotions. That does not make us a bad person for having these feelings. She mentions wanting Kikyo to disapear, but later regretting it. She realized the irrationality of her emotions, and allowed them to exist but not to fester. She realized more that Saint Hakushin did. He gave into his emotion and longing for life, whereas Kagome did not give in.

Day 787

Mon, 13 May 2013 00:57:30 -0400

I have been trying to think of how to word this without coming off as selfish or self centered or something of the sort. I think I have a chance of coming off as looking as if I think I am better than others. Well, all I can do is try to not come off that way, though I may fail.

Ok, so here it goes. I was texting a friend today when I thought about something, that I am in a way the morality and logic person in most of my groups of friends. Now, that is not to say I dont do immoral or stupid things, I do, but I think in large part I do less than most of my friends. The friend who made me think of this today does a lot of things I will not, and around me I will not necessarily stop him, but I defiantly discourage him from some of his decisions. I think I have only said no to him doing something with me around once.

Basically, I think I am a good influence on my friends. The thing about this that I find interesting is that I am always afraid I will succumb to peer pressure but from what I have seen, for a lot of things I am the one saying no and trying to discourage others, like a week or two ago when a group of friends (ok, so like 2 of my friends and their friends who I know) were going to do something kind of stupid, not overly so, but somewhat and I was trying to stop them. At some point I just left the room saying “make good choices”. I can only do so much, and ultimately it is an individuals responsibility, but I can help steer them in the right direction.

I hope I perceive myself correctly in this, I hope I am morally correct and helping my friends make smart decisions. I think I am.

Day 786

Sun, 12 May 2013 02:44:52 -0400

It sucks when I have thought of things today, when I have reflected, but nothing has stayed in my mind. I thought and reflected, but learned nothing, which is a failure to me. What good is my reflecting if I dont take anything from it? Thats the whole point of this blog, so that when I reflect I can write down the lessons I learn.

Day 785

Sat, 11 May 2013 02:30:25 -0400

I was walking around the river today, disappointed to not see people I knew, when I realized something. I realized that I know how much I love just walking around or being alone, yet I rarely do either thing.I guess I kind of am alone a lot, but I do not walk around much. It seems like I will occasionally have a day when I realize this again. I dont know why I keep forgetting.

Day 784

Fri, 10 May 2013 01:26:12 -0400

I am getting quite tired of doing work around the house. I have been doing stuff every day since I got done with school. I understand having to help, but it gets really old really fast, especially when I haven’t gotten a break since I got out of school. At least I get to sleep in a bit, which for me is still like 9 or 10am. I dont think my body realizes I changed time zones yet. Whatever. Good night

Day 783

Thu, 09 May 2013 02:14:31 -0400

Babysitting is very tiring, especially when the child wants to play constantly. I was outside playing for at least 5 hours. It makes me very tired when I am playing with my niece. I will need to get use to that if I am going to be babysitting her more often. I am glad I got her to see some MLP. I wish we had seen more though. It made me really sad to see the messed up version of Derpy. Anyway, thats all for now.

we left halfway through the episode to play outside. :(

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:18:46 -0400

stupid Hub showing the "fixed" derpy. It makes me really sad

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:05:59 -0400